Is Jesus Alive Inside of You?

Me, Tom, Hattie, and Thomas had the opportunity to travel to the Dominican Republic this past January on a medical mission trip. This is the story of how God worked in my life through the trip.

Is Jesus alive inside of you? I’ve been struggling with that question since we got back. Is Jesus alive inside of me? I know Jesus is my Lord and Savior. 11 years ago I confessed my sin and put my faith and trust in his work on the cross to save me and give me eternal life. I know my redeemer lives. But is he living inside of me? My husband completed his residency in Iowa City. In our church there we met a family who had a cool tradition. Every February the dad would take any of his children in eighth grade or above on a mission trip to Haiti. This man was teaching his kids what it means to sacrifice, to give, and how to proclaim the name of Christ. It was the coolest thing. Now at the time our oldest kids were much younger, but Tom and I always dreamed of a day when we would be able to take our kids on mission. So when Meg approached Tom with the opportunity to go to the DR, Tom’s first question was Can I bring my kids? When the answer was yes, we prayed about it and felt very strongly that this was the opportunity we’d been waiting for. There was no doubt the Lord wanted us on this trip.

As we began preparation the excitement grew. I was anxious for my kids to experience another culture. I was eager for Tom to experience the Lord in new ways. I was looking forward to spending an extended time in fellowship. And let’s not forget the food! I think I was most excited about was the opportunity to share the love of Jesus with the poor and offer them real hope. What a privilege! What an honor! If any of you has ever had the chance to share your faith then you’ll understand when I say it’s addicting. The rush you feel when you open your mouth for Christ is like nothing else. It leaves you wanting more. That’s the Spirit of God--like a rushing wind. It’s WILD!

Once in the Dominican we planned to serve several different groups. Patients in the waiting room, kids in the pediatric unit, children at the Compassion school, a group of young moms, and the residents at the batey. I can’t express to you how thrilled I was for the chance to serve these people. To love them with Christ’s love. Christ would do the saving, but I would have a front row seat!

However, once we arrived at the hospital the plans we’d made quickly changed. The pediatric unit was practically empty and the patients that were there were very young. We showed the Jesus Film in the waiting room several times. I was surprised at how hungry the people were for the good news of the Savior. Each day people came to saving faith in Jesus Christ! While I rejoiced in this, I still felt empty somehow. Useless. Widmy, the local pastor, was the one who gave the invitation at the end of the movie. It was he who prayed with them. The people related to him. And even when I tried to engage in conversation, it was Widmy I turned to for translation. The connection just wasn’t happening. I was disappointed. If you have spent any length of time around me you have probably heard me say “Man, It’s amazing what God can do without me!“ I’ve had to learn that lesson over and over and over. It seems I had to learn it again in the DR. When you set out on mission to serve the King and his work is accomplished without you; well, it left me wondering about my role on this trip.

I had the same feeling as we ministered to the school kids. I thought we would be sharing the story of salvation with those who had never heard. But the majority of them had not only already heard, most of them had also placed their trust in Jesus Christ. When we met the young mothers group instead of sitting amongst them developing relationships I ended up in the nursery holding a very unhappy toddler. And, while at the batey, I was able to reach out and hold a hand or give a hug, our time there was just too short. I began asking myself “What am I doing here????? Is this really the work you had in mind for me?” I mean it was fine. I was doing what was needed. But is this really how you want to use me Lord?

At the beginning of the week we were challenged by Pastor Isidro not to look for God in the heavens, but rather to look for Jesus in our midst and serve him . That really hit home for me. I committed in my heart to doing that over the course of the week. I prayed for the Lord to open my eyes and show himself to me. He did. And this is what I learned.

Late afternoon on Wednesday I saw a young man sitting on the stoop at the front of the guesthouse. I assumed it was Yamil, a young man my son Thomas had gotten to know. So I called to Thomas to let him in and he did. The young man took a seat at a table and began coloring. I got my journal and sat down next to him. After about 10 minutes I looked up at his picture and complimented his work. That’s when I realized this boy was NOT Yamil! I quietly got up, went over to Linda and asked if she knew who this young man was. She answered Yamil! Ummmm….no. She shrugged, confused. I went back over and sat down with him. By this time in the trip what little Spanish I knew had come back to me and I was able to communicate fairly well. I learned that his name was Christopher and he lived in the neighborhood. He had seen us outside and just decided to come over and check us out. He didn’t have a father, but lived with his mom and several other siblings. As he colored I went and got a wordless bracelet craft. I opened it and began to go through each bead asking first if he knew what each color represented. Yellow? I don’t know he said. It symbolizes heaven because the streets in heaven are made of gold. Black? Ummm…night? Well, sort of. Black is for our sin which is as dark as night. Red? Blood. Yes. That one he knew. But whose blood I asked? Jesucristo he answered. YES! White? Washed clean by the blood and Green is for growing in our knowledge of Him. We finished up the bracelet. I tied it on his wrist. Then I introduced him to Thomas. They went outside to kick the soccer ball around. Later they came back inside and he decorated a t-shirt. What an artist! He drew arm length tattoos on mine and Linda’s arms in permanent marker! We didn’t care. They were beautiful. He ate dinner with us. But as it began to get dark Christopher said it was time to go. I walked him to the door and he began digging around in the bushes. He said he was looking for his chuchillo. I couldn’t for the life of me remember what a chuchillo was! But I looked anyway. After a short while he held it up and exclaimed I found it! It was a machete. What do you need that for? I have to go to work he answered. And off he walked into the darkening night. An 11 year old boy and his machete--off to work. That was the first time I saw Jesus in the DR, but the last I saw of Christopher.

It was just a few days later when we were leaving La Romana that I found Jesus in the parking lot of Jumbo. That’s the Dominican equivalent of Wal-Mart. We had stopped to do a little shopping for souvenirs and gifts and such. Having finished our shopping early our family and Kristy Hartwig sat by the bus waiting for the others to return. Now it seemed that anytime I sat down in public it wouldn’t take long before I was surrounded by kids. This was no exception. Four young boys maybe ages 7-11 approached me and Kristi. We sat on the curb with them. We learned that they lived on the street and cleaned windshields to make a few pesos a day. They had thread bare, wet, dirty, rags in their hands and a stick that I later realized they used for a squeegee. Kristi looked at me and I looked back at her. Something moved inside us. We knew what we had to do. We literally ran back to Jumbo raced through the aisles found new car cleaning mitts and four large apples, purchased them and raced back to the curb just in time to hand over the gifts and board the bus that was now full and ready to depart. As we drove away we watched them open the bags. With delight we watched them sink their teeth into the apples, pull out the new mitts and wave frantically to us as we drove down the street.

We left La Romana that day to spend a day at a resort in Boca Chica before returning home. It gave me an odd feeling to be in such a luxurious place, by Dominican standards anyway, after having seen and experienced such poverty just hours before. At the same time it felt very nice to be in a place that felt much more like home--warm showers, a clean pool, beautiful gardens. I decided to take a nap on the beach. But like I said anytime I sat down in public, kids found me. It wasn’t long before a young boy approached. He wanted to know if I would like my shoes shined. He carried a small wooden box full of rags and brushes. I thought to myself--shoe shining? on the beach? I’m not even wearing shoes! Instead of telling him no, I asked if he would like to sit with me. We sat together and chatted. I learned he was the oldest of 6 kids, his mom was unemployed and so he shines shoes on the beach from 2-8pm everyday. I desperately wanted to give him some pesos--but I had none on me. I didn’t even have any back in the room. Tom and I had run out in La Romana and let’s just say its not as easy as you might think to get more. VISA--its everywhere except the DR! Anyway--I had nothing to give this poor boy. I saw a group of white men on the beach so I went over to them and asked if they spoke English. They did! I explained the boy’s story to them and asked if they might have some pesos they could spare. With sincere disappointment they told me they had just given their last to a man who was offering island excursions. I returned to the my towel and the boy empty handed. Man was it hot outside. Our hotel offered unlimited drinks to its guests. So I got up and went over to the bar. I brought back two glasses of cold water for him. And we sat there, together for awhile. I had found Jesus on the beach.

These three interactions taught me three familiar but forgotten lessons. From Christopher I learned again to be open to the timing of the Spirit. The Spirit doesn’t usually act in our timing. In order to be used by the Spirit we have to be open to interruption and inconvenience. From the boys in the parking lot I learned that not only do we need to be open to the call of the Spirit, once we hear the Spirit we need to act. What glory is there for Christ in simply hearing the command? We need to follow the leading of the Spirit. And from the boy on the beach I learned no matter how little, give what you have. So many times we worry that we don’t have enough to give. We are stalled by believing that what we can offer is of no use. Kinda like my experience earlier in the week. But God just asks us to give. Give of your time. Give of your talents. Give a hug, a smile. Hold a hand, hold a baby. It’s God’s work and He will use whatever he asks us to give in order to accomplish his will. God asked me to come along with him on this mission. I simply had to accept and obey. Who was I to tell God how I wanted to be used? I needed to fit into God‘s plan, not fit God into mine.

We arrived back to the U.S following the day on the beach. I had been warned about all of the emotions I would feel upon our return. What a roller coaster! People would ask “How was your trip?” At first I didn’t know how to respond so I just said, “Good”. A few weeks later when asked the same question I responded the same but thought “Hey don’t ask me that unless you have five hours to spare!”

Probably the question that I have struggled with the most is “Are you settling back in” or “Are things back to normal?” I guess the reason I struggle with these questions is because I don’t really want to settle. I would rather not go back to normal. The entire week in the Dominican was a time of worship. We humans are constantly worshipping its just the object of our worship that changes. For the most part I feel that the time spent in the DR was time spent worshipping the Lord. Hebrews 13:15-16 defines worship this way, “Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” Romans 12:1 says it this way “I appeal to you, therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” Worship then is praising his name, proclaiming his name, serving, sharing, and sacrificing. And isn’t that what we did in the Dominican? I find it interesting that Romans 12:2 goes on to say “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Change follows worship. If we are not changed, then what have we done?

It hasn’t been easy putting this into practice since I’ve been home. I wish I could stand up here and say that I found Jesus at Pick-n-Save yesterday or that last week Jesus was at Granite Peak. But it hasn’t happened. I am not sure why. And I am not sure I need to figure it out. What I need to do, which I can only do by the power of Christ in me, is to abide in Him, find full satisfaction in Him, be open to his Spirit working in me, and then act on the urgings of the Spirit so that God is glorified. I want to treasure what is worthy, value what is most precious and then let that show on the outside.

Please pray for me. Pray for us. We are the church. Pray that we would rise up. Pray for a renewing of our minds. Pray for change. I know the Lord wanted our family on this short term mission. He had work to do among his people and that included work within my own heart. But the overall take home message that I received was “Don’t look for God in the heavens. Don’t look for God in the DR. Don’t look for God overseas. Look for Jesus around you and serve him there.” There is work to be done right here in Wausau. This right here is my long term mission field until the Lord tells me otherwise. Short term missions aren’t for everyone but, everyone is called to be on mission. By the power of Christ living in me I will be about his work.